I think sometimes God knows when we need a little nudge. I
was feeling a bit sorry for myself for a couple reasons yesterday and I think
God wanted me to realize that I needed to get over it.
Every morning, when Pete heads out for the bus, I am awake
but still laying in bed. As he walks by the bedroom to the front door he yells
out “bye”. Then I hear the front door open, he shuffles out and then the door
closes (although on a couple extra cold mornings it will blow back open and I
have to get out of my warm bed to close it behind him!). He can see the bus
coming down the road behind us so he does not even head out the door until its
almost here. He does not wait outside long.
This morning was just like any other morning. I heard him
yell “bye” then the door closed. About 90 seconds later I heard the loud
screech of brakes and a sickening “thud!” I jumped out of bed faster than that
guy in the stocking cap in that Christmas story when Santa lands on his roof.
(I was kind of dressed like him too…. With bed head rather than the cap)
Pepper, who was in the bathroom at that moment was half a second behind me.
It was completely dark outside. I ripped open the front door
and called out Pete’s name. There were cars backed up around the bus in both
directions and nothing was moving.We both yelled out for Pete again. I couldn’t see anything and the
silence was deafening. After about a minute, the bus driver yelled that Pete
was on the bus and was fine. The car three cars behind the bus had run into the
back of the one in front of it.No
one was hurt, thank God.
In those moments and the moments since I have realized that
I have no reason to feel sorry for myself. I need to focus on the have and not the
have not, the needs met and not the things I just wish for. I need to focus on
what is really important and forget what isn’t. I have fantastic, healthy kids
and for a few very harried minutes this morning I thought I lost one…. Thank
you God for keeping them safe and for putting my thoughts back into
perspective, I guess I needed the nudge.
Today I went to the funeral of a co-workers daughter. I’ve
been thinking about her a lot since I heard her 20 year-old daughter died in a
car accident Saturday. For instance, just over a year ago, Dori was in a
motorcycle accident that could have ended much worse than it did. Last weekend,
Macy and Pete drove to a church event and sent a text when they arrived
safely as we agreed. Dill went with friends this weekend climbing
trees to set up a hunting stand 15 feet up a tree.
Last Sunday, while we were enjoying a family dinner with
B&D then Skyping with Dori…. this co-worker was planning her daughter’s
funeral. It’s hard to let children grow up and become more independent and make
their own mistakes. Some consequences are just too huge…. Too permanent.
Macy had some friends at her swim meet tonight. They are a
young couple from our church with three young children. I watched the Mom hold
one of the kids hand as they walked up the stairs to keep him from falling and
the Dad put his hand on the back of another one’s head when he almost bumped a
railing. After they left, Macy asked Pepper and I if we missed having young
kids. I thought about how much easier it is to keep them safe when they are
always in sight. I thought about a commercial for toilet tissue I once saw on
TV where a Mom wraps her child in toilet paper before allowing him to get on a
bike. At the time, I thought the commercial was ridiculous…. But now, I can see
the desire to keep growing kids safe.
Today, another person at the funeral shook her head and
whispered to me when she saw the co-worker barely holding it together: “There
but for the grace of God go I” she said. Pepper mentioned later that I always seem to know
what to say to people in these situations (like funerals and hospital visits)
and it surprised me, because I always just say what I feel. When the co-worker
hugged me and thanked me for coming I simply said, “No one should ever have to
bury their child. I am so sorry you have to do this.”
“If you were my child, I would staple you to your bedroom wall.”
I really loved spending lots of my summer nights in our RV. I missed getting to travel with it this year. But... I do have to say that my new Focus gets much better gas mileage and is very fun to drive. No way would I ever get over 44 miles to the gallon in my Silverado and 5th Wheel!! We're planning a few more trips this fall up north.... not in an RV, but with this car we will actually have some money left over (from gas we didn't need to put in the tank) to buy s'more supplies!! :)
When we took Dori back to college... she didn't know she was going to get a "free ride"from her brother!! This was a much better start to the year. Last year we started her first term by pushing Dori to her room in a wheelchair. I sure do prefer her in this cart over the crutches and braces and that wheelchair we dropped her off with last year! I'm very grateful that she COULD have gotten there under her own power this year if Pete hadn't been so willing to give her a ride! :)
Dill found a bargain at a neighborhood garage sale the other
day. He found 2 giant bags of ball pit balls for $1.00. He brought them home
and put them all in the tub to wash. He was in the tub with them for a very
long time… well over an hour. I
could hear him singing a song he made up as he washed each one individually…. The
words to the song were: “Washin’ my balls” and it was sung to the tune of Elmo’s
World. This boy makes me laugh! J