Back in January, I wrote about my Aunt Dorothy. She had sent me a letter telling me how much she missed getting to see me and my family at the Christmas gathering this year. She sent pictures and updates about the people that were there and she wanted to know how my kids and everyone in my life were doing. I find family gatherings like that a bit stressful so I avoid them. But I wanted to see Dorothy so I had decided back in January that I was going to next year's Christmas party. I did not write a letter back to her. I did not call her. She died last night.
Yesterday, was the anniversary of her wedding. She had a nice dinner with my uncle, then went to bed and died in her sleep. She requested to be cremated and wants no funeral service. No one will get together for a final good bye. I was talking to my sister, L and we thought it was funny that she is the one person that never missed a family function and now isn't having one. The REALLY funny thing is how much I hate functions like these and how much I really wish I could go to this one.
When my father died, I wasn't there. My Mom pulled me aside and said it didn't matter that I wasn't there at the end of my Dad's life... that I had been there when it counted. I wasn't there when my Mom died either. I should have written back to Dorothy, I could have at least called.
Sometimes, I forget why I started writing this Blog in the first place. Some day, my kids will be able to look back and read these stories and maybe get to know their mother and little better than they would have without it. They may get to know the funny side and the side that was so proud of them. They will get to know what I did at work, what amused me and how lucky I feel to get to watch them grow into adults. They also get to know the imperfect, makes mistakes me. So, for today, I want to tell them that regrets suck. But everyone has them. We can only do the best we can do.
Good Bye Aunt Dorothy, rest in peace.
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