Funeral Discussions…

I went to my Grandmother’s funeral yesterday. Quite a few people were present considering she was 95 years old and she attended a lot of her closest friends and family’s funerals already. There were a lot of family and people I knew growing up that I probably really won’t see much anymore because she is gone. Funerals are sad. The place smelled like flowers and Leafshine (the stuff florists use to make plants look healthy) and the room was very sterile and bare with several chairs pushed up against the walls around the room. My Grandmother’s coffin was beautiful with gold and painted flowers and she looked very peaceful in her purple dress and simple wedding band.

There were lots of discussions and updates that people were sharing… including the fact that a certain speech therapist cousin of mine is pregnant (But shhh….. she doesn’t want anyone to know!) BTW… speech therapist cousin: everyone KNOWS! ;) Here were some of the best things I heard or overheard….

Aunt N has a fantastic British accent. My sister, who is in sales said she wished she had that accent because people with accents can sell anything. Aunt N. said (in her fantastic british accent) “Oh I know deary, the problem has always been that I must believe in something to be able to sell it. A long time ago I sold Mary Kay and this woman wanted to buy several hundreds of pounds worth of the stuff. I looked at her plain face and just had to tell the poor girl that it would do nothing to help her.”

Uncle L was up for a visit one Christmas from Georgia to visit Grandma. As they rode up in the elevator to see her, Uncle L carried a large box wrapped in Christmas paper. Uncle R was carrying nothing. Uncle L asked, “What did you get Mom?” Quickly, Uncle R responded, “A plane ticket to Georgia.”

My cousin was telling her kids about a time she and I went camping in our Grandparents new RV. We were probably about 12 years old and my Grandmother asked us to use the RV commode for peeing only because the tanks had to be emptied and she did not want them to get dirty. (There were flush toilets in the campground she asked us to use if we needed to) At the luncheon following the funeral, my cousin confessed that it was her that used the RV bathroom for more than peeing and how terrified she was on the whole trip that Grandma would find out.

My Uncle R was talking about a visit to my Grandmother when she was feeling down. She spent about 15 minutes talking about how tired she was and useless and un-necessary. She cried and said God was punishing her by keeping her alive and in the nursing home. My uncle barely hesitated for a minute before saying, “Mom, did you ever think that maybe God was keeping you here to punish ME?!” Grandma couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

Following the funeral, we all went over to my Grandmother’s place to see if there were any items we wanted to keep. My sister got my Grandmother’s Grandfather clock and loaded it into the back of her pick up truck. Everyone left at the same time, in his or her own vehicle. Uncle L caught up to my sisters truck so he could hang out the window as they drove down the road yelling to her, “Ya got the time?!!” :)