Cologne

I remember hearing a skit from Richard Pryor… about stealing his father’s cologne to try it out. He sneaks into his Dad’s room, grabs the “Brut, by Faberge” from the dresser and sneaks into the bathroom to try it out. He isn’t sure where to put the cologne… but from the commercial he knows it makes everything its on smell better so he drops his pants and sloshes some on you-know-where. Well, he quickly realizes that Brut by Faberge… BURNS!! He is frantically trying to wash himself in the sink to stop the burning when his Dad walks in on him. Now that was the “G-rated” version, Richard Pryor was much more graphic!! But you get the idea.

Well, yesterday Pete and his friend got into my car after a sleepover…. The scent was overpowering! They have discovered… men’s cologne. Pete was so happy because his friend gave him a whole bottle to keep. About an hour later, Pete got his bottle back out (apparently he felt it had started to wear off) raised his arm and sprayed both of his arm pits. I said, “Pete, that isn’t deodorant… want are you doing?” He told me he did not like deodorant…. So he was going to use his cologne instead. Hmmm…. Middle school boy with no deodorant. Not good! I said “The cologne does not go in your arm pits” He said, “Ok, where do I put it?”

I realized this was one of those things about men that I did not know. I was so proud of myself for figuring out how to tie a tie and how to point their boy parts in their diaper… but I never even thought that a son of mine would need me to tell him where to put cologne. So, I did what I usually do, I said, “let me think about it.” Luckily, tonight we had dinner with Dad D… so I asked him. Turns out, it is pretty much like putting on perfume. Not so much the “dabbing it on pulse points” like my grandmother taught me when I was a child and wanted to try on her Emeraude, but the kind of perfume you spray into the air, then walk quickly through.

I still need to touch base with Pete and tell him that with cologne ‘Less is more” because I think it is important that people SEE him before they SMELL him!! …but it is so cool to watch him grow from a baby into a young man. How lucky am I?! :)