My Mom

I know I drive Pepper crazy every year in March around this time. For some reason, although I am really good with dates... birth dates, anniversaries... that sort of thing, I can never remember the exact date my Mom died. It has been several years now...12, but still it hasn't been so long that I should completely forget. It used to be much easier to find out the exact date... I could just go into the newspapers obituaries, then, after a few years, into the papers archives to find the date. Last year it seemed more challenging, but with Pepper's help, we did finally find it. This year, I couldn't find it. Pepper couldn't find it either. I've been searching all weekend. Every time I even got close.... it would tell me to put in my credit card number and even then I don't know that the results were right. Having a common last name and a common maiden name makes it pretty tough to find any information about just her. Some lady with the same name died in North Dakota the same year. I do not think my mother was ever even in North Dakota! Then the searches kept coming up with people with the same first name and the maiden name, or the middle name and the last name, but not together.... absolutely no help at all.

I finally resorted to calling my sister, which I really did not want to do. I figured she would remember but I hated to have to ask her... and to let her know that I forgot. She was out to lunch with her daughter... who was having a rough weekend herself. My niece's best friend's mom died yesterday. Unexpectedly. They attend the same middle school. The best friend is the one that found her mom. They do not know what happened yet. I guess I should be happy that I at least got to have my Mom attend my high school and college graduation ceremonies... and that she got to meet all but one of my kids. I wish I still wasn't so mad that she died so young. I wish I didn't struggle so hard to remember that she died on March 11, 1999 when she was 54 years old. I wish I didn't have to remember that she died at all.